You know that little voice in your head—the one that constantly criticizes you, pushes you to be perfect, or convinces you to avoid difficult conversations? That’s your inner saboteur, and it might be running your life more than you think.

We all have mental habits that keep us stuck. They show up as self-doubt, overthinking, people-pleasing, or perfectionism—convincing us that if we just work harder, do more, or stay quiet, we’ll finally feel enough. But that’s a trap. These patterns aren’t protecting us; they’re keeping us small.

The good news? Once you recognize these saboteurs, you can start loosening their grip. Let’s dive into four of the most common ones:

If you’re reading this, chances are you care about an adopted or foster care child. Maybe you’re an adoptive parent navigating the ups and downs of parenting a child with a complex history. Perhaps you’re a teacher noticing one of your students struggling with identity or emotions that seem bigger than the moment. Or maybe you’re a social worker, coach, or mentor wondering how to best support a child who has been through foster care or adoption.

No matter your role, you have the power to make a difference. But to truly support these kids, we need to understand the deeper layers of their experience—especially the parts that aren’t always visible on the surface.

Have you ever caught yourself telling the same story over and over? The one where you were wronged, hurt, abandoned, or betrayed? Maybe you’ve told it so many times that it’s become a part of your identity.

I get it. That story is familiar. It’s your history, your proof that what happened to you was real. But here’s the truth: staying stuck in that story isn’t serving you. It’s keeping you in the victim mindset, and that mindset is like quicksand—it pulls you in, keeping you from moving forward.

Let’s be real—life can feel like a hot mess express sometimes. Between responsibilities, emotions, and that never-ending to-do list, it’s easy to feel like we’re just surviving instead of thriving. But over the years, I’ve discovered a few simple habits—okay, life hacks—that have completely changed the game for me. And the best part? They’re easy to implement and make a massive difference in how you feel, think, and show up in the world.

Here are the five life hacks that have made the biggest impact on my life (and why you should totally steal them too):

Have you ever felt like you were running on autopilot, reacting to everything life throws at you without stopping to catch your breath? I get it. Life is busy, and between work, family, and responsibilities, it's easy to put yourself last. But here's the thing: when you invest in your inner work, everything else around you shifts.

Adoption can be a beautiful and life-changing journey, but for many adoptees, it also comes with deep-seated trauma. The experience of separation from biological roots, uncertainty about identity, and feelings of loss can have lasting emotional effects. As a parent or caregiver, your love and understanding can be a guiding light in helping your child heal. Here are five powerful ways to support your adopted child through their healing process.

Let’s get real for a second. How often do you catch yourself saying things to yourself that you wouldn’t dream of saying to someone else? Maybe it sounds like this: “You’re not good enough.” “You’re too much.” “No one’s ever going to stay.” That relentless voice in your head? Yep, that’s your inner critic. It’s not your cheerleader—it’s your biggest bully.

Attachment is the invisible thread that connects us to others, shaping how we interact, love, and trust. For adoptees, this thread often starts with a knot — a disrupted bond at birth or early in life that can lead to attachment challenges down the road. Let’s explore the different attachment styles, how they relate to being adopted, and, most importantly, how to begin repairing them.

Have you ever felt like you were juggling so many roles that you lost sight of who you are? For adoptees, this struggle often starts early. Many of us grow up feeling like our identity is fragmented—split between what the world sees, the expectations placed on us, and the hidden questions we carry deep inside.

“Who am I, really?”
“Where do I belong?”
“Am I enough as I am?”

Discover tools, community, and guidance to overcome adoption-related challenges, manage triggers, and build self-esteem. Find hope, validation, and expert support to thrive on your healing journey.

Adoption brings with it an array of emotions—gratitude, loss, curiosity, love, confusion, and sometimes, a deep sense of not knowing where you truly fit. If you’re an adoptee, you might feel like your story was written for you before you had the chance to pick up the pen. But here’s the thing: that pen is in your hands now. Through journaling, you can start to rewrite the narrative of your adoption story, moving from a place of pain or uncertainty to one of empowerment and self-discovery.

Ah, New Year’s resolutions. That magical time when we’re filled with fresh hope, big dreams, and promises to ourselves that this year will be different. Yet, come February, the gym is empty again, the journals gather dust, and those ambitious goals seem like a distant memory.

It’s not because we lack willpower or the desire to improve. The truth is, the whole concept of New Year’s resolutions is flawed. Let’s dive into why they don’t work—and how life coaching can help you break the cycle and create lasting change in the year ahead

The holiday season – often thought of as “the most wonderful time of the year” – can be filled with mixed emotions for many adoptees and children in foster care. While there’s a lot of joy, traditions, and celebration, there’s also a shadow side to the holidays that not everyone sees. When your life story includes adoption or foster care, those festive family gatherings, traditions, and expectations can bring up a whole mix of feelings that don’t always feel like a holiday cheer.

When it comes to raising an adopted child, many parents focus on the joy of building a family and the excitement of welcoming their child. But as your child grows, you might notice certain emotional challenges cropping up. These can be confusing and maybe even painful to witness. This is where understanding the 7 core issues of adoption can be a game-changer.

The 7 core issues (originally defined by experts in adoption psychology) include: Loss, Rejection, Guilt and Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, and Control. Each of these can impact adopted children (and adults) in different ways and at different stages of life. Knowing what these issues are and how they can show up in your child’s emotions and behavior is one of the best ways to support them on their journey to emotional health and self-acceptance.

Let’s break down these core issues and look at how they might appear in your child’s daily life.

Holidays bring up all sorts of emotions, don’t they? It’s supposed to be this time of joy, gathering, and warmth—but for many adoptees, the holiday season can feel heavy. We’re surrounded by images of perfect families gathered around tables, matching sweaters, and all those “home for the holidays” vibes. But for adoptees, that picture-perfect scene can stir up deep feelings of loss, loneliness, and sometimes feeling out of place.

Whether you’re spending the holidays with your adoptive family, birth family, both, or alone, this season can make those big emotions we usually manage day-to-day suddenly feel amplified. So, if you’re finding yourself dreading the upcoming season, know that you’re not alone. The struggles many adoptees face around this time are real and shared.

When I moved to Texas I had to establish with the primary doctor in my area. For the first time in my life, I was able to fill out the medical history portion on the medical form. You see, as an adoptee, having access to one's medical history is not a given. Like many adoptees, for the last 60 years, my medical history has been hidden from me.  As I checked the boxes for the various diseases that seem to plague my biology, I wondered what role they would play in my life. I recently read the book, Dirty Genes by Dr. Ben Lynch. In his book he talks about how lifestyle and environment can turn on and off certain genes. Just because you have a certain propensity to a certain disease, doesn't mean that you will actually get it. Though cancer, heart attacks, obesity and diabetes run through my biology, my health-conscious clean eating, exercising lifestyle may break that pattern.

As October 30th approaches, many of us adoptees feel a tug at our hearts—a subtle yet powerful reminder that this day holds special significance. National Adoptee Remembrance Day is not just a date on the calendar; it's a day to pause, reflect, and honor the complex, layered experiences of adoptees across the world.

As an adoptee, you’ve likely spent much of your life navigating a complex emotional landscape. The feeling of being different, the search for identity, and the questions about belonging—these are all unique to our experience. But what if I told you that cutting-edge neuroscience could offer us some answers? Even more, it could help us create the life we’ve always wanted, a life filled with clarity, connection, and peace.

Adoption is often framed as a beautiful, selfless act—a way to give a child a loving home and provide parents the joy of raising a family. While this can be true, there's a side of adoption that gets less attention—the trauma. Yes, trauma. It’s a word many adoptees may shy away from, but the truth is, adoption leaves an imprint on the heart and mind of adoptees that can last a lifetime. That’s what I want to dive into today. We’re going to explore what adoption trauma really is and, more importantly, how adoptees can begin to heal.

As an adoptee, the journey of self-discovery can often feel like you're walking through a maze of emotions. There are moments of confusion, sadness, longing, and even anger that seem to bubble up out of nowhere. But what if I told you these feelings might be coming from a part of you that you’ve long forgotten? A part of you that was once innocent, vulnerable, and desperately seeking safety? That part is your inner child, and it’s time to reconnect.

Inner child work is a powerful tool that can transform an adoptee’s life. It helps you dive deep into your past, addressing wounds that have never fully healed. By nurturing and healing your inner child, you can experience freedom from pain, find acceptance, and gain a deeper understanding of your own story. So, let’s dive into how this process works and why it can be life-changing for adoptees like you.