When it comes to raising an adopted child, many parents focus on the joy of building a family and the excitement of welcoming their child. But as your child grows, you might notice certain emotional challenges cropping up. These can be confusing and maybe even painful to witness. This is where understanding the 7 core issues of adoption can be a game-changer.

The 7 core issues (originally defined by experts in adoption psychology) include: Loss, Rejection, Guilt and Shame, Grief, Identity, Intimacy, and Control. Each of these can impact adopted children (and adults) in different ways and at different stages of life. Knowing what these issues are and how they can show up in your child’s emotions and behavior is one of the best ways to support them on their journey to emotional health and self-acceptance.

Let’s break down these core issues and look at how they might appear in your child’s daily life.

Holidays bring up all sorts of emotions, don’t they? It’s supposed to be this time of joy, gathering, and warmth—but for many adoptees, the holiday season can feel heavy. We’re surrounded by images of perfect families gathered around tables, matching sweaters, and all those “home for the holidays” vibes. But for adoptees, that picture-perfect scene can stir up deep feelings of loss, loneliness, and sometimes feeling out of place.

Whether you’re spending the holidays with your adoptive family, birth family, both, or alone, this season can make those big emotions we usually manage day-to-day suddenly feel amplified. So, if you’re finding yourself dreading the upcoming season, know that you’re not alone. The struggles many adoptees face around this time are real and shared.

When I moved to Texas I had to establish with the primary doctor in my area. For the first time in my life, I was able to fill out the medical history portion on the medical form. You see, as an adoptee, having access to one's medical history is not a given. Like many adoptees, for the last 60 years, my medical history has been hidden from me.  As I checked the boxes for the various diseases that seem to plague my biology, I wondered what role they would play in my life. I recently read the book, Dirty Genes by Dr. Ben Lynch. In his book he talks about how lifestyle and environment can turn on and off certain genes. Just because you have a certain propensity to a certain disease, doesn't mean that you will actually get it. Though cancer, heart attacks, obesity and diabetes run through my biology, my health-conscious clean eating, exercising lifestyle may break that pattern.

As October 30th approaches, many of us adoptees feel a tug at our hearts—a subtle yet powerful reminder that this day holds special significance. National Adoptee Remembrance Day is not just a date on the calendar; it's a day to pause, reflect, and honor the complex, layered experiences of adoptees across the world.

As an adoptee, you’ve likely spent much of your life navigating a complex emotional landscape. The feeling of being different, the search for identity, and the questions about belonging—these are all unique to our experience. But what if I told you that cutting-edge neuroscience could offer us some answers? Even more, it could help us create the life we’ve always wanted, a life filled with clarity, connection, and peace.

Adoption is often framed as a beautiful, selfless act—a way to give a child a loving home and provide parents the joy of raising a family. While this can be true, there's a side of adoption that gets less attention—the trauma. Yes, trauma. It’s a word many adoptees may shy away from, but the truth is, adoption leaves an imprint on the heart and mind of adoptees that can last a lifetime. That’s what I want to dive into today. We’re going to explore what adoption trauma really is and, more importantly, how adoptees can begin to heal.

As an adoptee, the journey of self-discovery can often feel like you're walking through a maze of emotions. There are moments of confusion, sadness, longing, and even anger that seem to bubble up out of nowhere. But what if I told you these feelings might be coming from a part of you that you’ve long forgotten? A part of you that was once innocent, vulnerable, and desperately seeking safety? That part is your inner child, and it’s time to reconnect.

Inner child work is a powerful tool that can transform an adoptee’s life. It helps you dive deep into your past, addressing wounds that have never fully healed. By nurturing and healing your inner child, you can experience freedom from pain, find acceptance, and gain a deeper understanding of your own story. So, let’s dive into how this process works and why it can be life-changing for adoptees like you.

I hear it all the time from fellow adoptees, and I’ve been there myself. The reasons we come up with to avoid investing in ourselves are endless. And, let’s be honest, they often feel like valid concerns.

“I’m not worth it.”
“It won’t fix anything.”
“I’ve been fine this long, why now?”

But what if I told you these objections are not rooted in truth? What if they’re actually just the stories we’ve been telling ourselves to avoid the discomfort of growth?

As an adoptee, you’ve likely spent much of your life navigating a complex emotional landscape. The feeling of being different, the search for identity, and the questions about belonging—these are all unique to our experience. But what if I told you that cutting-edge neuroscience could offer us some answers? Even more, it could help us create the life we’ve always wanted, a life filled with clarity, connection, and peace.

Neuroscience, the study of the brain and nervous system, has made remarkable strides in recent years. These new findings are not just academic—they have real, practical implications for adoptees like us. Understanding how our brains work can empower us to break free from old patterns, heal deep-seated wounds, and embrace a future that feels truly our own.

Coined by Nancy Verrier in her groundbreaking book The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child, this term encapsulates the deep, often unconscious pain experienced by adoptees due to the separation from their biological mother at birth. When I first came across the concept in Nancy Verrier’s book, I remember feeling like a light bulb went off. Verrier writes, “The wound occurs because the baby has developed an in utero recognition of the mother, and to be separated from her at birth is a trauma which results in a primal wound.” This wound is not just an emotional scar; it’s a psychological and physiological imprint that can shape an adoptee's entire life.This wound is not just emotional; it’s a deep, visceral part of our being. For many adoptees, this wound is rooted in that initial separation from our biological mother—a separation that happens before we even have words to express it, but one that leaves a lasting impact.

Have you ever found yourself suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of emotion, seemingly out of nowhere? Maybe it was a song on the radio, a smell, or a passing comment that sent your heart racing or left you feeling like you were in the middle of a storm. These emotional reactions aren’t random—they’re what we call triggers.

Vulnerability is often seen as a double-edged sword in relationships. On one side, it’s the gateway to deep connection, trust, and intimacy. On the other, it’s terrifying—opening ourselves up means risking rejection, misunderstanding, or betrayal. But without vulnerability, true connection remains elusive, and relationships can stagnate or crumble. So, what is it that makes vulnerability so crucial, and what are the silent killers that can suffocate it?

In the journey of love, many couples find themselves lost at times, not because they’ve taken a wrong turn, but because they’ve forgotten to check the map. No, not Google Maps—I'm talking about Love Maps. If you’re not familiar with John Gottman’s concept of Love Maps, let’s dive into what they are, why they’re crucial for your relationship, and how you can enhance yours with your partner to build a stronger, more connected marriage.

Navigating life as an adoptee can present unique mental health challenges that often remain unseen by those who have not shared the experience. From the surface, it might seem like adoption is a simple solution to a complex problem, but the reality is far deeper. The emotional and psychological struggles faced by adoptees can be profound, and various studies have highlighted some concerning statistics related to their mental well-being.

Personal growth is a journey everyone embarks on, but for adoptees, this journey can be uniquely complex. Adoptees often face distinct challenges related to identity, belonging, and self-worth. Understanding and overcoming these challenges is crucial for achieving personal growth and reaching one's goals. In this article, we will explore personal growth strategies specifically tailored for adoptees, offering tips on self-improvement and goal achievement. By focusing on "adoptee personal growth," we aim to provide valuable insights and practical advice to help you on your path to self-discovery and fulfillment.

DNA testing has revolutionized the way we understand our heritage and biological connections. For adoptees, it has become an invaluable tool in the quest to find biological relatives. This guide will walk you through the significance of DNA testing for adoptees, how to get started, and the emotional journey it entails.

As an adoptee life coach, I understand the unique challenges faced by adoptees in forming a firm sense of identity. Adoption is a transformative experience, but it comes with complexities that can affect our self-esteem, relationships, and overall sense of self. In this comprehensive blog post, we explore how adoption can interfere with identity formation and provide practical steps for navigating these challenges.

Adoption is a complex journey filled with a wide range of emotions. For many adoptees, anger is a significant part of this experience. Understanding why this emotion surfaces and how to manage it is crucial for emotional well-being.

Making friends can be tough, especially for us adult adoptees. There are unique challenges we face that stem from our early experiences, identity struggles, and how we navigate social situations. Let's dive into why forming connections can be particularly difficult and explore some ways we can overcome these hurdles.

Understanding your identity as an adoptee can be a complex but rewarding journey. Whether you're just beginning to explore your adoption story or have been on this path for a while, it's essential to have the right tools and support. Here’s a brief guide to help you navigate this process.