Step By Step Guide to Setting Boundaries
Personal boundaries are the limits and rules that we establish for ourselves in order to protect our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. These boundaries define what is and isn't acceptable behavior towards us and help us to maintain a sense of control over our lives. Personal boundaries can include physical boundaries, such as not allowing someone to touch us without our consent, emotional boundaries, such as not tolerating verbal abuse, and mental boundaries, such as not allowing others to manipulate our thoughts or beliefs.
Establishing and maintaining healthy personal boundaries is essential for our self-respect, self-esteem, and overall mental health. It allows us to prioritize our needs and desires, communicate our needs effectively, and build healthy relationships with others. Without personal boundaries, we may feel overwhelmed, drained, or resentful towards others who infringe upon our personal space or time.
Setting personal boundaries may feel uncomfortable or challenging at first, especially if we are used to being people-pleasers or putting others' needs before our own. However, with practice, we can learn to establish and enforce our boundaries in a respectful and assertive manner, which ultimately leads to greater happiness and fulfillment in our lives.
Start Making Boundaries:
Choose to set or upgrade a boundary.
Clearly identify your boundary.
Understand why YOU need or want this boundary.
Keep the focus on YOUR feelings and needs.
Be direct, specific and straightforward.
Don’t apologize or over explain.
Speak calmly, politely and if need be, in an assertive neutral tone of voice.
Start with tighter boundaries.
Choose the right time to speak up.
Don’t make it personal, use I statements.
Decide what the consequences are and address violations early and firmly.
Tune into your needs and trust your intuition.