5 Signs You Are a People-Pleaser
What do you put up with because you fear rejection? For years I was your Yes girl. Whatever I was asked to do, I said yes to. Even if I wasn’t asked, I volunteered.
When I was home schooling our 7 kids, I said yes to being a Cub scout leader, Co-op teacher, and anything else I was asked to do. I barely had time for it all and it caused me much stress. Years later, I realized I was a people pleaser.
People-pleasing refers to a behavior pattern in which individuals prioritize meeting the needs and expectations of others over their own. People-pleasers often go to great lengths to gain approval, avoid conflict, and maintain harmonious relationships.
Here are some key characteristics and potential consequences of people-pleasing:
Approval seeking: People-pleasers have a strong desire to be liked and seek validation from others. They may constantly seek reassurance and struggle with making decisions independently.
Difficulty saying no: People-pleasers often find it challenging to set boundaries and say no to requests or demands from others. They may fear disappointing or upsetting people, even at the expense of their own needs.
Neglecting personal needs: People-pleasers tend to prioritize the needs of others over their own. They may suppress their own desires and feelings, leading to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, and dissatisfaction.
Fear of rejection and conflict: People-pleasers typically avoid conflict and confrontation. They may go to great lengths to keep others happy, even if it means sacrificing their own values or engaging in activities they are uncomfortable with.
Low self-esteem: People-pleasers often have a deep-seated need for external validation, which can stem from low self-esteem. They may believe their self-worth is contingent on meeting the expectations of others.
While it is natural to want to be liked and accepted, excessive people-pleasing can be detrimental to one's well-being. The next time someone asks you to do something, instead of saying yes, say I’ll get back to you. This gives you some time to consider if it is meant for you. It also relieves the pressure of an immediate answer. Listen to your gut instinct.
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